I'm back!

Well I finally decided to take the plunge and figure out how to blog from my phone. Since we lost our Internet many many months ago, I have a hard time blogging. I have wrestled with the thought, "who would want to read what I have to say anyway?" A friend wrote a statement on Facebook the other day that really hit me though, she said, (this is not a direct quote) "I'm not important." And she found freedom in that, like it took the pressure off her. But I sat there and thought, "but you are important, and so am I." The devil tries to make us believe that we are not important. Maybe it is the middle child in me but so often I don't feel worthy of others time. I feel as though I don't have anything of value to share with others, after all, I am just a simple black sheep. I don't go with the flow just because; I research and learn all I can before I go against the grain. In the end, I usually go against the grain and feel like an outcast.

God has been showing me that I am not as bad as I make myself out to be. The girls and I have been watching the movie "The Princess Diaries," lately and in it a nerdy girl finds out she is actually a princess and has to decide to accept the role or not. Nothing changed in her accept the perception of herself. Am I living as though I am a daughter of the King (a princess) or as some frumpy nerd? Some good wrestles lately.

Some of my friends have done the one word for the year for a while and I decided to start this year. My word is just for me though, not my whole family. My word is LESS. When it came to me in a quiet time, I thought, "well that is a strange one word." However, it is very fitting for where I am at in life. LESS of me. I think it was Paul that talked about how we need to become less and less so God can be more and more. I can't quite find the verse yet. God's been showing me that I need to back off. Ever since I've had kids, I've decided to take the reigns. Every now and then I will loosen my grip on the reigns for God but never totally give them over. I have felt this in my soul for a while but didn't know how to fix it. Well this is the year! Less of me making decisions, less of me worrying and fretting, less of me trying to control my world around me and more of God taking the lead. Less of my input and more praying for Gods input and wisdom.

Some of my practical LESS goals this year are as follows:

Physical-less of me physically (especially after just having a baby!) by training to run a 5k at the end of April-the maple syrup festival 5k! Anyone want to join?!

Spiritual-read thru the bible in a year. I've never done this before. Less time online, more time in the word.

Mental-read thru 6 books this year. Less time online, more time reading. 

When I want to relax and checkout, I'll watch a movie or go online. At some point though, those can become my comfort rather than the Lord and I run to them more and more and God less and less. I begin to check out of life. Time to check back in! Do you have a one word that guides you thru this next year?